10 Commandments of L0VE

“Love is such a powerful word. It can make the well man sick and the sick man well. At the same time though, you’ve probably told yourself “I will never again…” after some particularly bad break-up. Love can be complex,  so here we offer a few commandments everyone should keep in mind while loving, being loved, or even looking for love.”

See if you agree! Madame Noire

1. Thou shalt not assume that love has a time limit. Falling in love does not have a time frame. It might take some a couple of months, others days, and some years… it’s either there or not.

2. Thou shalt not use the word Love in vain. Love is a powerful word that comes with powerful emotions. If you are not sure how you feel about a certain person, don’t use the L word.

3. Thou shalt not assume that love is enough. Sometimes love requires work. Unfortunately, we are not leaving in “la la land” where two people fall in love at first sight and live happily ever after. keep in mind that a man might need a job, and a woman might need to get rid of emotional baggage before engaging in a relationship.

4. Thou shalt not Underestimate the Power of love. Loving someone can change your life for better or worse if it isn’t mutual. Don’t underestimate the effect that it can have on your life.

5. Thou shalt not attempt to give Love to another Without first Giving it to yourself. Lack of self love creates insecurities and other issues within a relationship. Before you fall in love with someone else, make sure you have fallen with your self first.

6. Thou shalt not put conditional restrictions on love. “I will love him if he does this”. you shouldn’t love someone out of convenience, love should be genuine.

7. Thou shalt not confuse infatuation with love. Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion. Love is a little more realistic. Infatuation can a last a week, love can last a lifetime.

8. Thou shalt not force Love. Don’t try to force a feeling just because you like the idea of it. Love should come naturally.

9. Thou shalt ‘Live your Love’. Your actions should match your words. walk the walk and talk the talk.

10. Thou shalt not attempt to substitute Love. Sex cannot be a replacement for love. There is absolutely no replacement for love.

Casual sex…pt 2

When a woman settles for casual sex, she places herself very low on a man’s list of priorities, and her will treat her accordingly. He won’t understand her ranting about needing more of his time. He will become confused about where such intense feelings are coming from, especially if both parties agreed from the beginning that their relationship was just about sex and nothing more. You can’t blame the man for this. Once the terms were set, the terms were set. This is why you shouldn’t accept this kind of situation at all, not if you’re actively seeking  a fulfilling relationship. There’s no tricking the man down the road, no winning him over to your side of things. A situation like this usually ends badly, with the woman feeling demoralized and hurt because the man wanted nothing more than the use of her body, and with him resenting her for having tried to switch what he believed was an honest, straightforward situation. Don’t settle ladies. It will only work against you.

Karrine Steffans

Unlike women, men are able to carry a physical relationship with a woman for years, with no emotional attachment whatsoever. Once a man has been in a strictly physical relationship with a certain woman, she is no longer worthy of being “wifey material”. In other words this man will have no intention of ever engaging himself in a fully committed loving relationship with this woman. Once this happens not only does the woman becomes the victim, but it also affects her self esteem. why would this man who I have been sleeping with for years won’t hold me after I’ve had a bad day? Why is it that our relationship cannot go beyond bedroom doors? Why can’t we move on to the next step and make this a commitment to each other? Once this woman realizes that she was nothing more than a sexual object not worthy of this man’s love, How confident do you think she will be as a woman? These are just things to consider as a woman, before you let just any man lay inside of you…

Feelings…

I wish there was a secret out there that could teach me how to control my feelings. I am tired of this constant battle between me and my feelings. I hate it when I no control over something, especially if it’s gonna be part of my life. I want to be able to have control over my life, the things that I do, and the things that I say, the people that I surround my self with, my career, my goals, my dreams, and so far I’ve done a pretty good job controlling these things, but here I am again, having no control over these feelings! It bothers me, it really does, because I’ve been trying so hard to keep them aside, but obviously I failed. So here I am again, watching history about to repeat itself because once these feelings start growing someone is going to get hurt, sooner or later…

I’m standing here, starring reality straight in the eyes trying to find answers. Wish I could find a sign somewhere telling me that it’s safe to jump on board and that my feelings won’t deceive me, but I can’t seem to find the answers. Once again I’ve got to make a decision, scared out of my mind of what the outcome might be, but now it’s too late, something has to be done, it’s my fears against my feelings, but no matter who wins, someone is going to get hurt, sooner or later…

Be Careful Who You call Your “Friend”

I think we have all gone though the hurt of finding out that someone we thought was our friend was actually nothing but the opposite. Growing up I used to be a people person, you know when you’re still young and innocent enough to think that people actually mean what they say, and really do care about you, and love you, and all that good stuff…But My God was I wrong! I used to laugh at my father when he would tell me that having too many friends can be dangerous, and used to think that these are the words of a loner. But over the years I have learned the true meaning of friendship, and I did so the hard way.

Many of us are still naive enough to think that this world is a happy place and that people that we spend time with, or hang out with, are people who care so much about us, and have our best interest at heart… well darling you could not be more wrong. Everyone lives a different life, some have better experiences than others, but I can almost guarantee that you can probably count your real friends on one hand.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know a whole lot of people, and I spend time with a lot of people who I really do not consider friends but rather acquaintances. By that I mean, there are very few people that I allow inside my personal life. I am very careful about who I confide in, because the more someone knows about you, the more they are able to hurt you. There’s only a few people that you can call who actually won’t take pleasure in you going through difficult times.

How can you tell whether or not someone is your friend you may ask? You know these people who only call you when they need a favor, but you won’t even bother calling because the favor won’t be returned? Those who always have a negative opinion on everything that you do? The ones who always want to know what is going on in your life, but you’re the last one to find out about their personal business? The ones other people are always warning you about? The ones who always throw a slick comment here and there? The ones who would rather assist your pity party than your success? The ones who always tell you that you have it good? I think you have an idea who these people are…

Just don’t be so naive when it comes to friendship because true colors always show…sooner or later. I don’t know about you but I would rather have one good friend instead of 10 backstabbing ones.

Ready for LOVE?

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I have been in love before, and with falling in love comes falling out of love.clean up process that one must go through in order to recover from the loss of someone that once meant so much can be quite painful. But then comes a time when you must allow yourself to love again, after you have thoroughly gone through the healing process. But how do you know when you’re ready? How do you know when to let your guards down or whether or not you should? How do you know when to trust that this person will respect your feelings? Is it ok to love and be cautious at the same time? How do you know when your doubts are your guts feelings or just your fears? How do you truly know when are ready to love and to receive love?

Soul mate

” Your problem is you don’t understand what the word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of your self to you and they leave. ” Eat. Pray. Love.

whatever happened to the soul mate being this person who matches you perfectly and makes you happy for the rest of your life? Reading this made perfect sense though, it was an aha moment. Thinking about it, I think I may have already met my soul mate, and he did his job, then that was that. If anything, he definitely revealed that other layer of my self to me, and I’m learning to live with her now….

L0VE is Blind

Love makes us think we see the things that we want to see…

I was watching TV earlier and This divorced couple was having a conversation when the ex wife said to her ex husband that Love makes us think we see the things that we want to see. This statement summarized it all in one sentence.

When we love, we tend to be blinded by our emotions. We no longer allow ourselves to think or simply reflect on our thoughts, we instead decide to be guided by the butterflies in our stomachs. The pretty sad thing is that love makes the obvious invisible. What the whole world is able to see, the heart keeps us from seeing. It is as if we purposely live in denial or lie to ourselves. We ignore our friends and family, ignore late phone calls or the change of attitudes. We act as if everyone wishes to boycott our relationships when the truth of the matter is people just wish you would see what is right in front of your eyes.

When we love, we do the things that we never imagined doing, we lie to our loved ones just to make our mate “look good”, we ignore our gut feelings and the red flags, sometimes we even go as far as ignoring the blunt truth that comes out of that person’e mouth…

It’s inevitable, when we love, at some point….we find ourselves on the blinded side.

Beyond my Control

I hate being dependent on other people, but unfortunately, I only have the power to control my thoughts, my actions, my intentions, my feelings, my emotions…but not yours. Regardless of what I do, your relationship with me partly depends on what you make it, and that’s what I have a hard time dealing with. My ways are not your ways, the way I see things is totally different from the way you see things. Your intentions are unknown to me, for I cannot see past what you are willing to show me. It leaves a feeling of uncertainty and confusion. Feels like reading a script written in an unspoken language. How do I read between the lines? Am I holding the book upside down? Should I try to translate it? Or would that be work in vain? It all leads to a dead end, for only you hold the answers to my questions, and until you’re willing to give me the answers…It’s beyond me, it’s beyond my control…

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The Quest for Mr Right!

I know I’m going to regret being up this late blogging when I have class in the morning, but I was a reading a book and I stumbled upon this quote, and I felt the urge to share this with all the single young ladies out there.

“When God says a man is not the one, even though you don’tunderstand it, save yourself future troubles by obeying.”

This quote is golden. This should be a rule to live by. So many of us, females, believe that there are no good men out there. Like we often say: the good ones are either taken, in jail, or gay! Well perhaps that may be cause we are getting involved with the wrong ones. Finding a GOOD MAN, is not an easy task. We are so desperate for attention, and affection, that we throw ourselves at the next guy that compliments us, and setting ourselves up for failure. We must first change our approach of looking for a good guy. Stop looking for “love” in all the wrong places. You can’t go to a club, half naked, then get sexually involved with a man that you just met, and expect that he’s gonna want to be in a relationship with you. Go figure COMMIT!

what we have to start doing is taking our time to get to know the person before you even think about being in a relationship with him. If you start dating a young man, and find yourself interested, you find that he is meeting up to your STANDARDS, and can be a good match, start by praying about it. You know God has the answers to everything. If this is the man for you, He will let you know by the way in which the man treats you. Your female instincts will tell you if this is someone you should engage in a relationship with. If he isn’t, likewise, you will know! You know yourself, and you know what you want in a mate. If you find that this person has no respect for himself or for you, is constantly flirting with other females, is only interested in being physical, if he is dating you only being closed doors, he just might not be the one for you! Listen to your gut feelings.You know more than you think you do, start trusting yourself, and learn how to let go. Staying with someone who does not love you, or does not wanna be with you, will only hurt you in the long run, because sooner or later, He will leave.

Always remember that What God has for me, it is for me! Let him accomplish what he desires in your life. Don’t set your self for failure and waste your time with unnecessary relationships. All good things come to those who wait. Take your time, Be patient. He is out there…somewhere 🙂