Facing Your Fears

One of my biggest fears in life is failure. I’ve always been afraid to fail. Afraid that things might not go the way that I want them to. Afraid of making the wrong choices, of failing my parents, failing my friends, and even failing my self. As a result I’ve always tried to stay within my boundaries. Getting outside of my comfort zone was not an option. What i failed to realize was that if you always limit yourself, you are not allowing yourself to grow. Life has handed me many situations before that forced me to grow. Sure, some were not by choice, yet I had to face the consequences. What I did not realize at the time was that I was going through a growing process. A process that I was challenged to face whether I wanted to or not. It certainly was not easy, some were more painful then others, but they all taught me a lesson that shaped me into the person that I am today.

In a few weeks I’m getting ready to cross over to another phase of my life. One that will require lots of changes and adjustments. As expected I’m having panic attacks simply because I fear the unknown. Every time that I have to try something new there is a possibility that it might fail. Being a pessimist, that is all I think about. What if I didn’t make the right decision? What if things don’t work out as planned? What if… what if… what if???  But then there’s another part of me that keeps on telling that I will be ok. The 13 year old who left her parents and friends back home and moved to another country knows that I can overcome those barriers. The 18 year old who moved away to Tennessee, away from family to find herself knows that she will stay true to herself. The 23 year old who couldn’t fall asleep for months and overcame depression knows that she won’t break in the midst of all. But most importantly the same God who’s been with me all along, the one who has rocked me to sleep all these empty nights, the one who has a brought a smile on my face when I couldn’t look at my self in the mirror, who’s been to places with me that no one else has. He’ll be there. He’ll be right by my side.  I’m ready to face my fears…