All of us have been in relationships which we knew were not meant to be, or were not going to last. Yet for some odd reason, we held on. You knew he did not love you but you stayed. You knew you were not the only one, yet you stayed. You knew this man/ woman was not going to change, but it was not enough for you to move on. Those types of relationships can be self destructing. You know you want more, and you know that you deserve more, but you just can’t leave. What is it that makes someone stay in a situation where they are miserable? what is it that causes a woman to stay in an abusive relationship? What is it that makes a woman stay in a marriage where her husband has not touched her in years, and no longer comes home at night? Love, perhaps you say? Love should not be painful! If it is then it isn’t love.
The roots of the problem lies within the person it self. The only reason someone would put up with the pain, and the shame, is because this person believes that the only way to be happy is to with someone who loves you. The fear of being alone outweighs everything else, because this person does not feel self sufficient. Have you ever met someone who has jumped from one relationship to another? Someone who just could not be alone, or just did not know how to be alone. Regardless of how they were being treated, it was better than not having someone at all.
Laying your happiness in the hands of someone else automatically makes you a victim. when you rely on someone to make you happy, this person not only realizes that you need them in order to feel better about yourself, but also take advantage of the situation. “He/she can’t be without me, i can get away with anything and everything. she ain’t going no where.” Once this happens you become at the mercy of someone else. Always remember that people will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Realizing that your happiness is not at the feet of someone else is key! Yes, having someone who cares and loves you is one of the best feelings in the world, but having someone treat you like you are a spec of dust of their shoe, is not on the road to happiness. You set the terms for what you allow others to do to you. Acting as if you are not self sufficient will result in people treating you as such. Realize and remember that being happy lies in knowing that you are self sufficient.