Several weeks ago, I was having a discussion with someone very dear to me when the person told me that although I may act differently, I could not be much more different than my friends. Because this person knows my friends, and knows certain things about them, I was automatically tagged as behaving in the same way that my friends do.
I have been thinking about that statement from quite some times and just could not understand what my friends’ behavior and mine had in common. Just a little history on the side: my friends are very few in numbers, I have known most of them for at least 10 years, and more than half of them do not live in the same state as I do.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I am deeply troubled by the fact that people do not see me as my own person. I have always been strong willed and strong minded. I do not go where I don’t want to go and nobody can force me to do what I don’t want to do. (my family can testify to that). I have never been a follower. Just because my friends do something does mean that I’m going to do it, unless I have some personal interest in doing so.
I do believe that you are influenced by the people that you mostly spend time with and that you must be very careful with who you surround yourself with. But I also know that I have my own identity, my own likings, my own taste, my own thoughts, my own interests, my own free will and once I stop doing these things to follow someone else’s footsteps then that is when I lose my identity.
I truly value friendship because it is something so beautiful yet so hard to find. I do not base my friendship on my friends’ social lives, in fact I have very little to do with that. Friendship to me is based on experience, on the number of years where you can look back and see that this person has always been there even with the fact that we have been separated by distance, we have all grown up to be so different from each other, yet always knew that a phone call would be enough in times of need.
Don’t be so quick to judge someone by their actions, even more to tag someone else because of someone else’s actions. What you need to remember is that someone is be easy to look at, yet so hard to see…