Casual sex…pt 2

When a woman settles for casual sex, she places herself very low on a man’s list of priorities, and her will treat her accordingly. He won’t understand her ranting about needing more of his time. He will become confused about where such intense feelings are coming from, especially if both parties agreed from the beginning that their relationship was just about sex and nothing more. You can’t blame the man for this. Once the terms were set, the terms were set. This is why you shouldn’t accept this kind of situation at all, not if you’re actively seeking  a fulfilling relationship. There’s no tricking the man down the road, no winning him over to your side of things. A situation like this usually ends badly, with the woman feeling demoralized and hurt because the man wanted nothing more than the use of her body, and with him resenting her for having tried to switch what he believed was an honest, straightforward situation. Don’t settle ladies. It will only work against you.

Karrine Steffans

Unlike women, men are able to carry a physical relationship with a woman for years, with no emotional attachment whatsoever. Once a man has been in a strictly physical relationship with a certain woman, she is no longer worthy of being “wifey material”. In other words this man will have no intention of ever engaging himself in a fully committed loving relationship with this woman. Once this happens not only does the woman becomes the victim, but it also affects her self esteem. why would this man who I have been sleeping with for years won’t hold me after I’ve had a bad day? Why is it that our relationship cannot go beyond bedroom doors? Why can’t we move on to the next step and make this a commitment to each other? Once this woman realizes that she was nothing more than a sexual object not worthy of this man’s love, How confident do you think she will be as a woman? These are just things to consider as a woman, before you let just any man lay inside of you…

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3 thoughts on “Casual sex…pt 2

  1. I’m sorry but this is going to be a long post 😛 :-)…But I really wanted to share my thoughts with you on this matter, especially because I confronted a male friend about this issue not too long ago and his thoughts enlightened me immensely. They pissed me off, but they sure enlightened me as well. He’s been married for 4 years now but is having casual sex with his ex…(ain’t that some trifling business…smh) Worse thing is, the ex stays believing he will leave his wife for her some day, one day. (HAHAHA!) So, you see my dear, things like this will always happen if women don’t start realizing the truth about men and relationship. The worst lie women have been feeding themselves with is that men never like or will never have a potential, long lasting relationship with women who don’t give “it” up. The TRUTH is men are actually scared (yes, scared) and skeptical of women who give it up too quickly. Men know who women are: that they are very sentimental creatures, and that they are most likely to save themselves for the man they truly, madly love…Now, for him to see her give it up in a matter of days, after he dropped a few lame lines or finished spitting his game on her, is quite scary. To him she might just be crazy, unworthy of being taken serious or has some kind of STD. And even if the “relationship” with him lasts a little over a year, there’s no way that guy will trust her, because his thoughts are that she’s probably being quite generous out there, just like she’s being generous with him without requiring anything else from him. It’s just that simple to him. Now to answer the questions:

    Why this man, who I have been sleeping with for years, won’t hold me after I’ve had a bad day? Why is it that our relationship cannot go beyond bedroom doors? Why can’t we move on to the next step and make this a commitment to each other?
    This is what your sex pal thinks: he’s not your man, he’s just hitting it and the fact that you were all game from the beginning, you should know the deal. No strings attached. Now, should he care? No, holding you was never part of deal. (I believe there are some men who would actually hold you, but some men would not want to, just because they feel this act may just make you start having feeling for them, and will defeat the purpose of casual sex.)

    Once this woman realizes that she was nothing more than a sexual object not worthy of this man’s love, how confident do you think she will be as a woman?
    To me, a woman settles for casual sex as a result of low confidence/low self-esteem. You’d find women put themselves in situations like this because they hoped to gain a smidge of confidence, not realizing that this does nothing but aggravate their case. Now if she has been played, tricked or wanted to be plain frivolous (even so), I don’t think she should EVER let situations like this crush her confidence or at least, not for long. It will be a harsh reality to face, but sometimes that’s all we need to step it up and check ourselves.

  2. SMH @ your friend.
    Well said Lisa! women don’t realize how picky men are when it comes to choosing a mate, and trust me your reputation follows you! SN: you might consider starting your own blog 😉

  3. I believe that humans have been coerced to follow the path of monogamy by the power hungry and greedy of our species. First and foremost our species was successful because of our ability to act as a group or community not because of our ability to act as couples. It insured everyone was taken care of and that we had the necessary genetic diversity to thrive.

    When man discovered how to cultivate food, the hunter-gatherer became the grower-storer. With the abundance of time this development provided man was rewarded with more free time.

    Some took the time to create, some to wonder about existence and some to scheme about how to take advantage of others. The creators and wonderers found a very strong instinctive drive for spiritual significance and art, storytelling, music and acts of compassion and kindness, understanding nature, spiritual quests and missions became priorities.
    The greedy and power hungry saw this instinctive need and schemed ways to use this very basic desire to influence others to do their bidding. Seeing that there was little opportunity for control with the arts and most of the other spiritual endeavors, they settled upon creating power bases from the spiritual quests and missions. First by establishing rules and laws within the group and then by using those laws to create exclusivity and finally to make them so ridiculously hard to abide that guilt is created among the faithful for which they must atone. One of the most popular rules they use is monogamy.

    Almost all of the great religions have very noble original tenants but soon after their origins they were basturdized into the conflict/violence/war machines of today.

    Men and women are very capable of having multiple love partners with high functioning relationships. What we are not capable of doing well is having casual, non-involved love relationships with one or more. Please do not confuse the two. If you would like to learn more. The book “Sex At Dawn” has some very good insights. Thanks for taking the time
    .
    Lan

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