Day 06 ~ Something you hope you never have to do.

“Death is terrifying because it is so ordinary. It happens all the time.”

Accepting the fact that death is part of life has got to be the hardest thing for me to do.  I cannot fathom the thought of me having to bury a loved one. Sadly, I’ve had to say goodbye to friends and family in the past, but so far, God has spared me the unbearable pain of losing a member of my intermediate family.

we often don’t realize how real death is until we are faced with a situation where a loved one has gone through a near death experience.  within the past four years, I have watched my brother being mugged, my father kidnapped and injured from the January 12th earthquake, and my mother being ill. Out of all the experiences that my faily and I went through, this year has been the most trying of all.

After being evacuated to Miami two days after the earthquake, with a broken hip, a broken shoulder and head trauma, I watched my father go from one surgery to the other. I grew to hate hospitals after being on there for 28 days with him and my mother, both of us sleeping on futons.

I watched my dad go through therapy to learn how to dress, how to bathe using one had, and even how to walk again, at the age of 60 years old.

I stayed in CCU (critical care Unit) with my mother who had a massive pulmonary embolism, in both lungs. When her Physician saw the X-rays, he called it a miracle that my mom was still alive, because the clots left no room for any blood circulation in her lungs. she was in there for 15 days, before she was released with the caution that a blood clot can resurface at any given time, and can cause a brain aneurysm or a heart attack.

Death had never seem so real to me before. As I was going though these times, i had friends who were grieving the lost of a parents, friends that lost siblings, I kept on having reminders that at any given time, I can be separated from my family, and to me that is the most hurtful thought.

There is no preparation on how to deal with the death of a loved one. It happens without warning, when you expect it the least…it’s there and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

The Bible says that God never gives you more than you can bear. I just hope that they have to learn to live without me, then me without them… If not I pray that God will give me the strength that I know only him will be able to give me to go through such torture.


2 thoughts on “Day 06 ~ Something you hope you never have to do.

  1. This brought tears to my eyes :'(… I can totally related to this post, I had to bury my father and there was absolutely nothing worse then watching his coffin holding his lifeless body…carrying it down into the grave. We really thought we weren’t going to be ‘sane’ anymore, but somehow God helped me and my family get through this. We had to believe and trust that, if we weren’t able to get through this, He wouldn’t allow it to happen. Through every test comes out a testimony, and I thank God for yours! My testimony is still being able to praise God after this had happened and accepting His will, as if it was mine…everyday! :-).

    Stay blessed and keep praising & lifting Him up 🙂

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